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Review: Bates Motel (Haunted Attraction)

Posted in Review with tags , , , , , , , , on November 3, 2018 by Lilliandra Winters

maxresdefaultI had the wonderful pleasure of being escorted to The Bates Motel & Haunted Hayride by Xander this year. Now you have seen a few reviews of this particular attraction from my beautiful best friend, but this year I thought I would take the time and tell you what I think of this place.

We always want to go to all of the haunted houses in the area, but we aren’t rich or have that kind of time. Every year we want to plan ahead, but we realize it’s two weeks until Halloween and Bates Motel is our automatic go to. That isn’t a bad thing. If anything, it is a huge compliment.

We know what the price will be, we know where it’s located, we know we are getting fried oreos and we know we will have fun.

We arrived at the muddy cold farm grounds EARLY. Being this close to Halloween, wescreen-shot-2013-09-19-at-10-38-23-pm assumed that the place would be packed and earlier is better. However, it was nearly pouring rain as we were driving and was still drizzling pretty strong when we arrived. After we retrieved our tickets (paid online beforehand, an easy and quick process to get in), we hid in the merchandise shop for a bit, freezing Xander bought a hoodie, very comfortable and reasonably priced, and plotted what we were going to do in what order.

We took a few moment to watch the Coffin Ride. I tried to convince her to go with me but she refused and there was no way I was going to do it by myself. You climb into a coffin that plays audio and bumps up and down. It lasts about 2 minutes and you are all done. The few people we saw enter the ride enjoyed the experience. This year they also had an onsite Escape Room to promote their Escape Rooms that just opened up in West Chester, PA. We did not do the on site mini escape room they had, but are interested in going to their main site in West Chester.

7-0Now even arriving at 6:15pm, it was dark quickly, which is what you want when you go to any type of haunted house. We typically start with the maze, however the ground was muddy and we were told we’d have to wait a bit, so we made our way to the Haunted Hayride. We stood in line until past 7pm. Now we have never been there that early, so we didn’t know that it appears most rides don’t open until 7pm. We talked and my first jump scare happened. Now, if most of you don’t know, I don’t scare. Not easily, at least. I wasn’t paying attention and noticed Xander staring over my shoulder, turned to a face off with a  ghoul and jumped. I don’t scream, but I do jump. In the 3 times that I’ve been there, I have only been jump scared once. Yonight I jumped 4 times. We won’t talk about how many times Xander jumped (for your information, it was A LOT).

Climbing into the Hayride is never fun but we welcomed the warmth of the fire displays. Riding along under the Dragon’s Mouth, we were witness to many a zombie, maniac, demon, abomination, asylum patient and some things I have yet to identify.

One of the many things that I love is that in coming back year after year is watching the whole place evolve. They had many new animatronics this year that I don’t remember being there last year. All awesome, my only regret was that many of these amazing monstrous beings had no sound. They would jump, their mouths would open and no sound. I do understand that sound would have to be added, the addition of speakers and players. I get all of that, but I feel like it would finalize these terrifying additions. I love beats, baddies and ghouls, but without sound they really didn’t come to life for me.

5-0I did also miss being closed in on the Hayrides. I wasn’t sure if they didn’t do that because they were running behind or if they stopped it all together, but it was missed this year. Other than that the rides were great. The cold and wet didn’t stop the actors from jumping out and giving it their all. It was a chilling start to the night.

Deciding to bare with the cold, we moved onto the Maze, Revenge of the Scarecrows, I think was the name this year. Here, I jumped twice, I think, mainly because I volunteered to go first (which I will never do again because there was far less screaming from the other unsuspecting people in the group), and people would jump out from behind doors.

I always feel bad going first, I feel that they work so hard for that jump or scream and typically I disappoint them with a simple… ‘Hey’ or ‘Sup’ and head nod. Sometimes I just laugh, I think it’s hilarious. Again, the upgrades were great. Actors well placed. Rooms spot on and the clowns scared Xander appropriately. I want to thank the clown that followed her as we continued, that filled my heart with joy.

sitting-room-bates-motel** Side note, friends, I want to be sorry for creeping out the people around me while we were there. I’m not. I uttered things such as, ‘That’s what I came for’ after a girl apologized for screaming. ‘Thank you, Daddy’ when an actor told me to take my medication (the Asylum section) and ‘Next time we need more screamers, they make it fun.’ I’m not even a little sorry, I LOVE Haunted Houses, I’m just representing me **

So we moved onto the Haunted House. Some notes, I love the addition of The Nun and Annabelle. I got jump scared once or twice. I can’t remember, more people around doors. I didn’t volunteer to go first. In fact, I pushed Xander against a wall and let the teenagers go first. Best. Decision. Ever. They screamed and it filled me with joy… I’m aware of how twisted that sounds. I don’t care. Again, I don’t want to reveal and ruin anything. They put together a thrilling show, actors were on point and dolls are hella creepy.

(One actor did rest his head against Xander and tell her she had beautiful ears. I think she liked it.)

17-0Now, this wasn’t my favorite year. That had nothing to do with Bates Motel. We didn’t check the weather report before we went, a huge mistake on our part. It was a bit slippery in some parts (the staff warned us that is was slippery and asked us to walk carefully) and due to the rain it seemed less crowded. Also there were less actors walking around, but again, we felt this was due to the weather. It was also very cold, we didn’t dress for that. I dressed to look cute, which I was. Xander came home with more layers on than she left.

We still had a blast, we laughed, she screamed, we made jokes and had a FANGtastic time. Sorry, not sorry. If you live in the area and haven’t been to Bates Motel yet, we have no idea what you are waiting for. You simply must go and have one hell of a time.

 

Do you know of a Haunted Attraction that we should review? Let us know your favorites in the comments.

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Review: Stranger Things Season 2 (TV Show)

Posted in Review with tags , , , , , , , , , , on October 27, 2018 by Lilliandra Winters

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If you haven’t watched the first season of Stranger Things, then I suggest you check out that review and then decide if you want to watch it. This review is only for the second season. Also, THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS! YOU’VE BEEN WARNED!

Before I go spoiler bound, should you watch it? YES! Why should you watch it! BECAUSE IT’S AWESOME! Now, spoiler away.

I binged watched the hell out of season 2. However, I wasn’t patiently waiting for it to come out. I didn’t start watching it day one. I didn’t pour over internet theories before it came out. I loved season 1, don’t get me wrong, but I was worried about season 2.

Let’s get the hate out of the way.

Season 2 felt just a tad off to me and I will explain why. The end of season 1 could have easily been the end. We didn’t know what was coming next. It was tied up in the neatest little bow possible with two exceptions. We were lead to ponder if Eleven was still alive. Also, what the fuck did Will cough up in the sink?

Season 2 didn’t wrap up in that same bow. There are a lot of unanswered questions and if you ask me, everything with her sister felt… disconnected? Maybe that isn’t the proper word, but work with me. Of course, I can understand everything that lead up to her going to Mama. Mama wants me to go see this girl… Okay, that isn’t what I got from the vision, but I’m not you. So, she ventures off to find her sister and the feeling of these scenes were so far removed from what was happening that I had a hard time smoothly going back to Hawkins.

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BEFORE YOU HATE ME… I understand that it was character development. I am sure that this plot will be revisited in season 3. In fact, it felt more like a setup for season 3 than it actually belonging in season 2. Again, this is my opinion and I didn’t love it any less. I just felt uncomfortable. I Love Kali by the way. Love love love. PS, where the fuck are the rest of the numbers?

So, besides that, I don’t recall any other issues I had. Well, I did want that bitch Billy to be eaten by a Demidog, but that didn’t fucking happen. HE DIDN’T EVEN SEE ONE. I mean, I straight up hate that motherfucker (not as much as his father) but damn did that bring up some left over high school rage that I will never address. That seething hatred can stay there. That might have been my only other issue, but that’s more of a personal preference.

Now, let’s talk about the awesome. Eleven/Jane is developing, learning, understanding, feeling and we are along for the ride. This poor girl was not only put through hell, but she also got worse, kicked it’s ass and got more hell for it! CAN SHE CATCH A FUCKING BREAK!

However, watching this journey just bonds us to her even more. I assume that most of us want to pick her up, hug her, put her in our pocket and feed her all the Eggo’s she wants. However, I found Will to be an adored pocket dweller, also. Again, this poor kid went through hell BY ACCIDENT and the hits just keep on coming.

He tries to be so brave and stand up to it, only to really get screwed over something fierce. I just remembered thinking, “holy shit that poor kid,” every 5 seconds. For seeing so little of him in the first season, he did so well in season 2 with not only that troubled weight on his shoulders, but also literally fighting to gain some normalcy.

ebf13f1a5114687e50e98ebabf162c25AND BOB! OMG don’t get me started on Bob… I saw a lot of #justiceforbarb #justiceforbob before I even started watching. Thanks for ruining that, internet. However the question that came up was who do you want justice for, Barb or Bob.

FIRST OF ALL, not the same situation. Barb got dead and knew nothing about what was happening. Of course, she deserves justice. BOB IS A MOTHER FUCKING HERO. Holy shit! Bob the Brain deserved better.

He may have been nerdy and weird, but who isn’t? He found a woman he loved, accepted her two kids, loved them and tried to bond with that. He had a good job and loved to help. HE CAME OVER WHEN HE THOUGHT WILL WAS SICK, found out Will was in the Upside Down, not the woods, and he didn’t nope the fuck out. Then, he didn’t even ask Hopper to come guard him (which I would have) and went out to do what he did best. Salute Superhero Bob because not all heroes wear capes.

I think I just started ranting about characters and never spoke of the actual story. I’ll throw out that Dustin is an adorable dumbass and say that the story was great. I felt awful for everyone stuck in the situation and wondered how the rest of the town seemed to notice 100% of NOTHING this whole time. Sheep.

I wasn’t a fan of all the Nancy boy drama. I can always do without extra romance issues. I do say “extra” because we can’t forget about the Max love triangle in all of this. That lead to interesting drama, but little character development for Lucas, or at least I think it could have been done a little better. Show of hands on how many people think Billy is a racist? If he is, I do appreciate them removing derogatory words from the script. I know that people will throw words around trying to be authentic, but there is a line and the actor is a kid. It wouldn’t have sat well with me at all.

Season 2 is good but sitting here, reflecting upon it, I feel some of the Sequel Blues. The first is always better, because we aren’t shocked by what is being presented to us. As much as they brought to the table this time, the newness of it, I felt a couple of characters lacked much needed development. I had issues with the Jane/Kali story line ( I was really hoping Kali would have shown up at the end to help) and there was to much left unresolved, to me at least. I also found that investigator to be creepy in a special way.

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That being said, loved the Demidogs, loved the Shadow Monster, loved thinking outside the box, the map, the heaters. POOR BARB’S PARENTS! Mad Max stood up for herself and poor Mamabear Steve! Which honestly, I’d never thought I’d say that about a popular kid, like ever. He stuck by those kids, but I guarantee he’s never having any. Hey Steve, sweetie, let’s have a baby! NO! NO! HELLS NO! They grow up to be little shits that jump into tunnels and set demons on fire. HELL NO! And Steve is carted off to the insane asylum and never heard from again.

I digress. Season 2 was wonderful, but definitely lacking in a few areas for me. Let’s hope for a strong season 3 and cross our fingers that Billy gets bit in the nuts by a demidog.

Do you agree? What did you love or hate about season 2?

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Review: Outlast 2 (Video Game)

Posted in Review with tags , , , , , , , , on October 13, 2018 by Lilliandra Winters

Developer: Red Barrel Studios
Platforms: PC, Xbox One, PlayStation 4
Release Date: April 25th, 2017

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Lets take a minute to appreciate how truly fucked up Outlast is. It’s full of some twisted shit and when I thought it couldn’t get worse, they gave us some messed up DLC. Thank fuck that’s over! Outlast 2 was like, hold my beer.

The problem with sequels is that you have an expectation. It isn’t the new, never-seen-before experience of the first one. So keeping this in mind, Outlast 2 seems to have upped the ante. Also giving it an American Horror Story feel the second game, with only subtle nods to the first game, gives it a completely different concept. You are a different character in a different part of the world.

outlast_2_launch_screen_7Blake and Lynn are flying in a helicopter, making their way to investigate a woman that was found wondering down a stretch of highway, barefoot and pregnant. She is later murdered under suspicious circumstances. Your helicopter crashes and bursts into flames. Lynn is missing, but your camera is intact, so you pick it up and start to make your way in the darkness looking for her. You see a man tied to a tree and gutted, you see a town in the distance and make your way towards it.

Outlast 2 jumps into pushing limits. It was really interesting to see what they did to the game after the the demo. They incorporated a lot, but not everything, and there were some distinct differences between the two. The ‘flashbacks’ unlock a story from Black’s past about his friend, Jessica, and what happened to her. It has some correlation to what is currently happening, but why it’s happening is pretty fucked up.

I will warn you, there is a LOT to follow in this game: cults, zealots, STDs, a prophet, murder and your past. That’s just the tip of this disturbing iceberg. It’s a lot of information to keep straight, but completely worth it when you do. Outlast 2 is a wonderful reminder of the depravity that lurks in the dark.

I don’t know why you are still reading this. If you haven’t played Outlast Outlast: Whistle Blower go play then and jump straight into Outlast 2. Here’s hoping you have a strong stomach.

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Review: Malevolent (2018)

Posted in Review with tags , , , , , , , , on October 6, 2018 by Xander Woolf

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Starring: Florence Pugh, Ben Lloyd-Hughes, Scott Chambers, Georgina Bevan & Celia Imrie
Directed by: Olaf de Fleur Johannesson

Netflix is killing it with their original content. Shows, mini-series and movies alike, Netflix knows content and has the budget to do these projects justice. Not the least of which is Malevolent, a horror movie about a young woman that inherited the medium gifts that eventually took her mother’s life.

What’s it about?
Brother and sister duo, Jackson (Lloyd-Hughes) and Angela (Pugh), decide to use their mother’s name to create a side gig for some extra cash. The children of a famous Scottish medium, they set Angela up to be the face who speaks with ghosts, while Jackson gets the gigs and their friends, Elliot (Chambers) and Beth (Bevan), help with the tech. They put on a show for their clients, then make off with the cash before it’s discovered that they didn’t actually do anything.

This all changes when they take on a job a little too big for their britches. Mrs. Green (Imrie) supposedly lives alone on a large estate. She used to run a girls’ school, but tragedy struck and all of the girls ended up dead, their mouths sewn shut. Now, she hears laughter and screaming and she just wants a quiet house. Jackson accepts the job, against Angela’s wishes, and the team heads to this remote estate in the Scottish countryside.

What awaits them, however, are mutilated ghost children and a revelation about what actually happened all those years ago.

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What did I think?
Like with most movies, there are pros and cons to Malevolent. The ambiance is fantastic. The setting is perfect. It’s a very well-made film in general. It actually scared me. Give me Scottish ghosts and I’m putty in your hand.

It’s a fairly typical haunted house movie. The protagonists arrive, thinking none of the stories are real. We start with glimpses of ghosts and mini-jumpscares. Then, all of a sudden, the unknown becomes known and our protags are in very real danger.

While the acting was great, the characters themselves were a little off for me. Angela is quiet and angsty — straight out of a YA novel. Jackson is unfeeling and overconfident, despite his life being in danger after borrowing money from the wrong people. Elliot is the puppy dog that follows Angela around and Beth doesn’t really seem to add much value to the plot. They’re all a little two-dimensional.

Mrs. Green, on the other hand, was phenomenal. With a base need for quiet as her driving force, Mrs. Green is multi-faceted. Celia Imrie really brings her character to life, which is to be expected of such a celebrated and talented British actress.

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Despite all this though, the relationships between the characters felt real. There were times when tears came to my eyes because the raw emotion that Florence Pugh put forth caught me off guard.

Story-wise, I’m left with more questions than answers, which I’m not a particular fan of. If it was a series and this was the first part, I’d be okay with this, but it’s a standalone movie, with no plans that I can find for a sequel. The haunted house plot wrapped up nicely, but there are questions about Angela that I’d like answered.

Do I recommend it?
Yes. While it has its flaws, this movie pulls from classic horror archetypes and introduces some twists that I didn’t expect. It’s worth a watch, especially since you won’t spend any extra money on it. You can find Malevolent on Netflix.

The Power of Silence: A Quiet Place Review

Posted in Review with tags , , , , , , , on September 7, 2018 by Xander Woolf

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I know, I know, I’m late to the party!

Sometimes it’s difficult or impossible to see a movie when it just comes out. Believe you me, I’ve been trying to see Slenderman for weeks and it’s just not happening yet. But Winters and I finally got to sit down and watch A Quiet Place, thanks to Amazon and their 40% rental discount.

We went into the movie not really knowing what to expect. I know it’s been out awhile, but we were good about staying away from spoilers. We knew that they couldn’t make noise, or else something bad would happen. We knew the oldest daughter was deaf, and so was the actress who played her. We knew that John Krasinski had written it for his lovely wife, Emily Blunt. We knew all that, but we had no idea what the movie was actually about.

Turns out, there are monsters that somehow showed up (per Wikipedia, they’re aliens). They’re blind and they’re covered in a naturally thick hide that serves as armor. They attack noise and wiped out most of humanity in a matter of months.

The Abbott family survived by staying silent and vigilant. They can communicate because they already knew sign language – having a deaf daughter, Regan – and they formulated countless in-case-of-emergency plans.

The movie begins on one of the family’s outings to gather supplies from the abandoned supermarket in town. Their four year old son grabbed a toy rocket from the shelf. As they were headed back, the boy turned on the toy, which became very, very loud. Before Lee (Krasinski) could get to him, one of the creatures grabbed the boy and killed him.

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A year later, the Abbott family is expecting another little one. Evelyn (Blunt) and the two remaining children – Regan (Simmonds) and Marcus (Jupe) – take to soundproofing the basement of their old barn so that mom and baby can recover without attracting the beings. Meanwhile, we are shown exposition as Lee works in the basement of the house on a new hearing aid for Regan.

The plot follows this family’s plight for survival as multiple unexpected things start to happen – as they do when you have a wife about to go into labor and two children who are incapable of seeing the big picture. Over the course of the mostly-silent movie, we are shown the very emotional dynamic of this family. Lee, Evelyn and Regan all constantly blame themselves for the death of the youngest, Beau. Regan believes that Lee blames her for Beau’s death and thus their relationship is strained.

The acting throughout this is phenomenal. Without dialogue, each of them were able to convey exactly what the characters felt and wanted. The emotional connection between these four was palpable and brought tears to my eyes on multiple occasions.

The most powerful part of this movie, however, was the silence. The use of sound – and lack thereof – was my favorite part about this movie. Sure, the beings were terrifying and the CGI was well done. We could easily relate to the family and the amount we could gather without dialogue was fantastic. But the sound. The sound made this movie.

While there is a traditional movie score in this movie – as Krasinski did not want the audience to feel as though they were part of ‘a silence experiment‘ – it is used in such a way that we, as the viewer, can still feel the silence. Every noise was deafening and caused myself and Winters to jump several times.

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Every noise made me genuinely afraid for the well-being of this family. Every single noise evoked some kind of emotion in me, which cultivated in my outright sobbing later on in the movie. But I won’t go into detail about that because I don’t want to spoil anything.

I honestly can’t think of anything bad to say about this movie. I have no suggestions for improvement and no criticism whatsoever. This was masterfully done. The story was captivating, the acting was superb, and the ambiance was enough to keep me at the edge of my seat.

I highly recommend this movie. Let me know what you thought in the comments below!

The Mummy (Movie)

Posted in Review with tags , , , , , , on October 13, 2017 by thiathebard

Written by: Bridget Cannon

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Written and Directed by: David Koepp and Alex Kurtzman
Starring:  Tom Cruise, Sofia Boutella and Annabelle Wallis

What was it about?

War profiteer and soldier Nick Morton (Cruise) is looking for artifacts to sell on the black market while being stationed in the Middle East. His antics lead his commanding officer to him, and a site of a hidden tomb. Jenny Halsey (Wallis) is a Doctor working with the US military and demands to examine the site. Within the tomb, an ancient mummy has been buried in an odd fashion. Halsey convinces the military to help her transport the Mummy back to London with her. During the flight strange things begin to happen and an evil is set loose.

What did I think?

I really wanted to like The Mummy. It is the first in a number of horror movies that Universal Studios is remaking. The Dark Universe will be bringing all of these remade monsters together with a cool team trying to track, study and contain them. That idea is really promising and, frankly, exciting to me. The Mummy just did not deliver.

I did not care about the main character. At all. Nick Morton is a terrible person at the start of the movie, he is still terrible in the middle of the movie and he is just boring by the end of it. I didn’t care if he was safe or if he reached his goals. Which is a shame because if you are going to have a character set up a big franchise, who viewers will probably be stuck with later, it is a good idea to make them at least a little interesting. Not even necessarily likable, but at least give the man some layers to his personality.

Other characters had potential. I could see Jenny Halsey being more interesting as a recurring bit character, without Nick’s blandness holding her back, in future movies. Doctor Jekyll, yes THAT Doctor Jekyll, was very well played by Russell Crowe. His character and the organization he heads are both saving graces for the story.

The Mummy herself (Boutella) was a fascinating character. I enjoyed her effects. I just didn’t understand her and Nick at all. Her story seemed to take a backseat to his shenanigans a lot of the time instead of showcasing a great villain. They had no chemistry. In short, The Mummy was pushed back in her own movie for a boring man to just make poor life choices. Can we finally stop Hollywood from believing that we want our heroes to be wrecking balls who don’t seem to care about anyone around them except for sexual purposes? 

Seriously, though. Why was Nick so important again? We had a cool organization and an awesome Mummy to play with. Honestly, Hollywood, we could have had it all.

I also was a little… okay more than a little… off put by a few big mistakes about Egyptian mythology in the movie. There are fact checkers in Hollywood. Did The Mummy even have one? It was difficult to take a universe seriously when the building blocks are not there. Particularly when misinformation keeps being thrown at the audience.

The Mummy is also just not a strong horror movie. The themes were there, but it just did not deliver. Again, because I think that too much of the focus was on the wrong character. It was like the movie was reaching for something great, but then Nick would come on screen and it would just give up. The scenes that focused on the Mummy were good. I even jumped at one of the jump scares. However, one jump scare does not a horror movie make.

Would I recommend it?

It kills me to say this because I want the larger project of the Dark Universe to succeed, but no. There were a few laughs. A couple scares. Even with a fascinating premise, The Mummy just fell flat in the end.

I will say this, though. I think there is great potential for the greater universe that is being created. If they can tighten up their storytelling and focus more on the monsters, the rest of these films could be a fun ride for horror fans. Just not The Mummy

Why I couldn’t finish “The Curse of Sleeping Beauty” (2016)

Posted in Review with tags , , , , , , , , , on July 14, 2017 by Xander Woolf

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Supposedly based on the Grimm fairy tale “Briar Rose,” The Curse of Sleeping Beauty follows Thomas, a reclusive artist who consistently dreams of a beautiful sleeping woman that he just can’t wake up. When he inherits a property that’s been in his family for generations, his nightmares become real. He has to free Briar Rose from her prison in order to free himself from the property.

It sounds like it could be a beautiful story… if done right.

The movie was so awful, though, we couldn’t even finish it. We got about half-way through and turned it off. This is actually a big deal for Winters and me. In our entire friendship, we’ve only ever turned off three movies.

It’s especially a big deal for me given that I love bad horror movies. I’ll watch bad horror until the cows come home, but I couldn’t finish The Curse of Sleeping Beauty. Here’s why.

1) The acting was atrocious. While the actors were all beautiful in their own right, they weren’t right for the roles. Ethan Peck, at first, seemed perfect for a reclusive artist role. As the movie went on, however, it became obvious that Thomas was supposed to care about both Briar Rose and Linda, the woman helping him learn more about the mysterious property. Ethan Peck, however, continued with his emotionless character, causing his lines to fall flat. India Eisley, who played Briar Rose, was gorgeous in her outfit, but could have spent more time with a dialect coach. Her English accent was reminiscent of that of a teenager pretending to be “posh.” Finally, Natalie Hall’s Linda attempted to be the comic relief, but the delivery of her lines combined with the overall feel of the movie made that attempt fall short. We felt as though each of these actors was only hired because of their good looks.

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2) The script was just bad. The acting probably would have been better if the script was better written. Instead, there were lines that made no sense and major plot holes. Not only that, but near the middle of the movie, the plot changed from straight horror fantasy, where one or two people deal with an evil force, to an ensemble let’s-tackle-this-together movie. The dynamic completely changed when the two extra characters were added. Thomas and Linda were all that were needed, in my opinion.

3) They mixed several cultures together. This goes along with bad script writing, but deserves a point all to its own. The Sleeping Beauty story is of French origin. The movie takes place in America (I think!). All the characters seem to be American or Canadian, with the exception of Briar Rose, who is supposedly British. Richard (Bruce Davison), shows up in a car with a European license plate. And, finally, when they determine what the actual curse is, they reveal that it’s Middle Eastern… Dear writers, pick one and stick to it!

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While those are my three big points, there were a lot of little points as well. Let’s call it nitpicks. First, Thomas’ uncle supposedly lived in the mysterious house for 40 years, but it looked like it hadn’t been lived in for quite a long time. Second, Thomas at one point says he just wants to get out of this “godforsaken town,” but there was no introduction of the town itself or Thomas’ interaction with it. Finally, there’s a scene where a bunch of mannequins are attacking Thomas and Linda, attempting to protect the secret of the house from outsiders, and I was just reminded of an episode of Doctor Who, which took me right out of the story.

I didn’t see the ending, but absolutely nothing could have made this movie worth it. I assume Briar Rose turned out to be evil and they had to defeat her. Otherwise, they never would have introduced Linda as Thomas’ other love interest. I also assume that the 53 people who had gone missing on the property were the people inside the mannequins. But, hey, I could be wrong.

Watch it for yourself and tell me your thoughts in the comments below!