The Houses October Built

The Houses October Built (2014) Reviewhob_still_5
Director: Bobby Roe
Starring: Brandy Schaefer, Zack Andrews and Bobby Roe

Netflix is a fucking moron. It gave me a recommended 4 stars for this movie, so I trusted it like an old friend and it fucked me.

If you can’t tell, I was not a fan of this movie. I couldn’t help but roll my eyes every 30 seconds. I even stopped the movie to go do something and finished it at a later date because I felt obliged to write this review, if only to stop you from watching a terrible movie.

A group of ‘friends’ (I’ll explain that loosely used term later) get in an RV together and drive around going to the ‘awesome’ haunted houses in search of the ‘extreme’ haunted house experience.

Everything I wrote above is under the definition of douche bag. One, friends don’t allow friends to do stupid shit like hunt down an extreme haunted house. If your friend insists and wants to go with you, they aren’t your friend. Ditch that asshat. Two, there are always people who know the best haunted houses. No one knows what they are talking about. They have google and yelp for a reason. Read reviews. Three, you’re not a child anymore. Looking for that extreme thing to scare you like you were a kid again is asking to be murdered. You want a fear rush? Jump out of a plain, watch reality tv, eat expired spam.

Watching this movie was as delightful as pounding my head against a wall. These people broke every rule out there and I’m not at all surprised at what happened at the end of this documentary style crap fest.

Writing, acting… you know what, doesn’t matter. It wasn’t good. Breaking it down won’t justify what happened with this movie.

Please don’t watch this movie, save yourself.

(I want to apologize that this is such a short review. I felt if I continued that I would just be hate fucking this movie with my words.)

WintersOver4

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